K

sometimes it really hurts the way he is with me.....
him with his serious temperament....
i dont understand why he talks to me at all...
but then it is i who calls him...isnt it?
i have to end this with him..it is one sided..this obsession of mine... let him drift off..just a little...every single day
all i have to do is let him take this friendship...or watever this thing is...where ever he wants to take it..let him call me if he wants to talk..i can get over him...
i can...
why is it so hard..you ask?
because he is the most special man i've ever known...
will take time to get detoxified of the K strain...
why is he so special...you ask?
when i was 12..i had a crush on this boy R....
R was amazing..he was cute..he was good at everything..he had so many pets..and so i always had a reason to go meet him..feed the rabbits...have a chat
he was adorable...but he never had any power over me...
i'd sometimes break into giggles..and nothing he did from the most icy of stares to the most indulging of smiles could stop me...laughing looking deep into his eyes..mocking him...never mind that i truly adored him
he simply couldnt make me stop....
the very worst and the very best thing about K is...that he does have an effect on me ...
somehow he does...the way he always looks at me..all knowing...
all those times he's been coveted and despised...
coveted for the knowledge that he's right..that he can see
despised for the very same...
for once i love the fact that the ego that he took away so very effortlessly..and yes i so loved him for it...will eventually creep back..taking him away...
because i cant do this anymore...